


By Appointment Only

by GoodJanet



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Angst, Booty Calls, Dinner, Emotional Baggage, First Meetings, Fluff, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Kink Negotiation, Multi, Prostitution, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-12 14:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7108330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodJanet/pseuds/GoodJanet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hooker AU ~ The Gang is Dennis' regular customers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Frank

Friday is Frank’s day, and that means Dennis really has to prepare. It means he’s in for a full shower, full face of make-up, slutty dress, and fuck me heels kind of night. Frank was…Well, Frank was Frank. He was messy and fumbling. And he was constantly eating dripping, disgusting fatty foods. It was enough to make Dennis heave, which Frank seemed to get a kick out of anyway.

Dennis shows up to the door in Frank’s favorite red sequin dress with matching heels and knocks on the door. The other tenants don’t bat an eyelash at his vulgar appearance. Frank answers the door.

“There you are, baby. Come on in, come right on in!”

Dennis walks in and sees another man is sitting on Frank’s bed.

“It’ll cost you double if there’s two of you,” Dennis says.

The scruffy man’s eyes widen and he jumps up.

“Nope! Nope, nope, I’m outta here. Warn a guy next time, Frank!”

“Charlie, you’re being very rude in front of the whore.”

“Goodbye, Frank! I’ll be at Mac’s place.”

The door slams shut.

“Sorry about that,” Frank says. “The boy’s a little skittish. He’s a _virgin_.”

“I’m not a whore, Frank.”

“Oh, right, right. You go by, ummm, what’s it called?”

“I’m a Handsome Companion.”

Dennis sighs. He’s corrected Frank on that several times, but Frank had deep pockets, so he doesn’t let his annoyance show.

“Well, now that that’s done, shall we get down to it? I got some new toys I wanna try on that perfect toosh of yours!”

Frank waggles his eyebrows, and Dennis gets on the bed. He can only imagine...

Tonight was going to get weird.

After it’s over, when Frank’s pulled out of him and let him catch his breath, he hands him a wad of cash. Dennis cleans up in the bathroom at the end of the hall and wonders if Frank would let him give Charlie a call.


	2. Charlie

Dennis hears back from Charlie at 10:30 A.M. on the following Tuesday.

 **Y u call Charlie?** , the text read.

 **Because it’s been a while since I took someone’s virginity.** , he fires back.

It takes the guy ten minutes to say, **Charlie don’t want sex.**

It has been a while since Dennis had had a challenge. It was quite an amazing feat to take someone’s virginity away from them. It took a level of grace and power and skill to maneuver it away from an individual’s clutching hands. Why would anyone want to go their whole life through having never experienced the touch of his hands or the weight of his cock?

**I’ll come over tonight. 7:30. Tell Frank to leave.**

Charlie never answers back, so Dennis assumes that his plans are full steam ahead.

For Charlie, he dresses more conservatively. He opted for a plaid button down and blue jeans that accentuated his ass and free-hanging cock. He licks his lips, and he’s glad the lip gloss is still there. Excellent. He leans casually against the doorframe and knocks.

His scruffy friend answers the door.

“I don’t want sex. And I especially don’t want the kind of sex that Frank has.”

“Can I come in?”

Charlie just stares for a moment before throwing his hands up in the air, “Sure! Why not!”

Dennis closes the door behind him and sits down on the bed. Charlie resumes staring at him.

“So how long have you and Frank lived together? He’s told me so much about you.”

“Oh, that’s gross, dude. Don’t tell me that shit.”

“Are you really a virgin, Charlie?”

Dennis has dealt with virgins before. They were jumpy and overeager to be with him. Charlie is the exact opposite: quiet, timid.

“No, I’m not a virgin, okay?”

There’s no excitement this time. No crazy hand gestures. Just utter resignation in everything from his face to his posture. Someone hurt this man.

“Okay,” Dennis says.

Charlie looks up, distrustful.

“No sex?”

“No, Charlie.”

Dennis gets up from the bed and walks back to the door.

“Call me some time,” Dennis says, hand resting comfortingly on his shoulder.

“Maybe,” Charlie deflects.

Dennis doesn’t know how to feel things, but something tells him this whole situation doesn’t feel right. Charlie is like a puzzle that’s missing most of its pieces, and Dennis knows he’s not the one to be filling Charlie’s holes.


	3. Dee

Dee doesn’t have a standing appointment with Dennis, but she usually calls him late, late at night in the middle of the week. She’s very lonely and often very drunk, which Dennis prefers because it means she’ll just lie there and let him do his thing.

Dee calls him at 4 A.M. on a Wednesday.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Dennis asks.

“Time for you to fuck me,” she says with a snicker.

He hears the crack of a bottle opening.

“Sweet Dee,” he says with a sigh. It’s his nickname for her, and she hates that she loves it. “That’s ridiculous. Get some sleep. I’ll come over tomorrow.”

“You’re such a fucking tease. I bet you couldn’t even get me off if you were here anyway.”

Dennis groans in frustration.

“Goodnight, Dee.”

“Goodnight, bitch.”

She has the audacity to hang up on him, leaving him wide awake at 4:05 in the morning. No one spoke to Dennis like that! No one had the right to!

He throws his covers off and pulls on a pair of jeans to wear with his black tank. He slips on a pair of sneakers and grabs his wallet and keys on his way out of his apartment. Dennis hops into his beloved car.

“I’ll show that stupid bitch that I can get her off.”

He makes it to her apartment in record time. The streets are empty at this hour. He’s pounding on the door to her apartment at 4:26, and she opens the door wearing an oversized tee shirt and a smug smile. She hands him a beer.

“Took you long enough,” she says.

Dee opens the door a little wider to let Dennis inside. Dennis shakes his head in begrudged amusement.

“Well played, Sweet Dee. Very well played.”

She throws her underwear at him.

“So come give me my prize.”


	4. Mac, Part I

Dennis doesn’t have a pimp, which means he has to do all the client gathering on his own. And it’s even easier to do what with the advent of smartphone technology. Tinder, Grindr, and Kik are goldmines. He meets Mac the old fashioned way.

Frank calls Dennis and tells him to meet him a place called Paddy's Pub to discuss “some new shit to try out with a hot broad thrown in the mix.” Frank’s words, not his. He shudders to think who or what Frank will want to incorporate in the bedroom next. Apparently sandwich components and theater props were no longer cutting it for him.

The first thing he notices when he enters is that Dee is behind the bar. Dennis cocks his head at the coincidence and walks up to the bar to mess with her.

“Funny running into you, Sweet Dee,” Dennis says.

“Oh my god, did you follow me here? Are you a stalker? You’re gonna kill me. Like put my head in a freezer or something.”

“Jesus, no. I just wanted to order a beer.”

“Why are you _here_ though? A million bars in Philly and you walked into this one. I mean, you’ve gotta be a murderer. It just makes sense.”

“I’m here to see Frank. He told me to meet him here, alright? Relax, birdbrain.”

“How do you know—Oh shit. Oh shit, tell me you’re not banging Frank too.”

“Wait,” Dennis says, realization dawning. “How the hell do you know Frank?”

“Someone say my name?” Frank asks, exiting the back office.

“Frank, what the hell is going on?” Dee asks.

Frank turns to Dennis before turning back to Dee.

“Oh, this is one of my whores.”

Dennis tsks in annoyance.

“I am a _Handsome Companion_ , and you would do well to remember that. I am more than able to take my business elsewhere.”

“Oh my god,” Dee squeaks. “This cannot be happening. I’m dreaming. This is a gasoline-fueled nightmare, and I’ll wake up on the floor of my apartment, and none of this will be real.”

“Dennis, are you banging Deandra?”

“What?!” Dee jumps in. “No, no way. That’s disgusting.”

“Yeah, yeah it is. No good can come out of the two of us sharing this beefcake.”

Dennis sighs.

“Anyway, that’s not what I’m here to talk about. Can’t we talk somewhere privately?”

Before Frank can answer, Charlie emerges from the basement carrying a canvas sack dripping in blood.

“I got ‘im!” he shouts triumphantly. “I got the rat king!”

Dee gags rather loudly, and Charlie turns and sees the three of them standing at the bar.

“Oh shit, you’re back.”

“Are you fucking Charlie too?” Dee asks, incredulous.

“I am _not_ fucking Charlie!” Dennis shouts.

“Then why did you ask me for his number, huh?”

Frank folds his arms as if he had Dennis cornered. Cocky bastard.

“I went to your apartment, we talked, I left. That’s all that happened.”

“Then why are you _here_ , dude?” 

Dennis groans in frustration. Would no one fucking listen to him?

“I’m here to see Frank. That’s it! Now can we please just get this over with, Frank? Before I walk out for good?”

Frank snorts and heads back in the direction of the office.

“You’re not going anywhere. You want the money too bad.”

Dennis sighs.

Frank was right.


	5. Mac, Part II

Dennis reluctantly agrees to Frank’s weird-as-shit ideas when Frank promises to double his cash if Artemis can join in. The idea is cringeworthy at best, but he listens as Frank tells him what he’s willing to pay for the experience. Frank even offers to take him to Guigino’s later to sweeten the deal. Dennis flatly refuses, though the promise of food was tempting.

Dennis knows he makes good money, even if he didn’t factor in Frank’s contribution. Frank had money to burn, but the more Frank asked for, the less he was inclined to listen. Dennis hated it when people tried to pin him down and control him outside the bedroom. The true selling point was something Frank said offhandedly.

“Dennis, you’re the only whore I know who’s up for this kind of shit. You’re golden.”

“Golden?”

“Anyway, Friday’ll be the usual deal. Forget about Artemis. We’ve got a good thing going here, and I don’t want her to ruin it. Look, I’ll even take you to Guigino’s to show how well I treat my who—”

Dennis’ eyes flash brightly before dimming down dark, waiting to hear Frank’s next few words.

“—my Handsome Companions.”

Dennis smiles in a way that Frank swallows hook, line, and sinker.

~*~*~*~*~*~

They get seated pretty quickly, and Dennis has barely glanced at the menu when a man approaches their table.

“Frank, what are you doing here? Dee has been calling you for the past twenty minutes.”

Dennis looks up.

_Wow._

Who was this tasty treat?

“Tell Deandra that I’m on a very important business dinner.”

The man groans loudly in frustration, and Dennis feels his heart drop to his groin.

“Hey, why don’t you join us,” he hears himself say. “Frank’s treat.”

The man smiles and sits down next to him. They ignore Frank’s protests.

“Aw, thanks, bro. I’m Mac! Who’re you?”

Dennis turns in his seat and sticks out his hand. He smiles without realizing it. It’s the first real one in a long time.

“I’m Dennis.”

Mac grabs his hand in a warm grip.

Dennis hopes he never lets go.


End file.
